WTF

What is wrong with this man that i like ..... he really reallly likes me but he is confused, i know i should give him time time ideally i would like that if i were to be in his shoe but than in the current situation i dont like that i am hanged. OK dont say the L word but i would like to treated like a woman ... i like goin on a date, flowers, suprises doesnt have to be fancy but just show me in some way u care about me.

Does he like me just because he knows i like him and its all convenient there is no hard work involved ........ I am very confused, I will give him 2 weeks so if today is 24th ... i give him till 5th of Nov 2008, lets see wat happens LOL

Insecurity

I dont know the title of this blog, but i am sure i will come up with something byt he end of it. I want to blog about where i stand in life right now. I have decided its about time to invest and since it was a huge amount and i am taking a loan and have a car on loan too ... i am scared since i dont know if i am doing the rite thing. Its good to have investements but when you start off is it normal to have hurdles, second thoughts ?? I feel the pinch, okay i know i am not the worlds best person to be given responsibities (hate them honestly) I am afraid that i will not live up to the commitment though i have worked it all out .... my finance till the end of next year .... I hope it goes the way i want it to.

I know someone who has loan but he seems to be taking it well. I think i am overreacting, its the future that i am scared of ... job security ... its a 5 year comitment ...... hopefully it should be all good. God please bless me and protect me.

Friend or Boy Friend !!! wats the difference??

As clearly my title for post says .... is there a difference in friend and a boy friend except that and friend can be a girl or a guy .... but in the case of Boy friend it is usually strictly a guy. Its like love and like, i think i was discussed that before and i would repeat is there a difference.

Am i being childish by sort of knowing there is a difference but trying to not acknowledge it ...... not sure !!! I agree there is a difference but i feel it isnt really that big a difference at the same time i like to same it has a huge difference i am sooo gonna check the dictionary .......

Till then i am still a confused lost soul ............ i can make myself sound so melodramatic ... ciao

Hope N Future !!!

"What keeps us alive, what allows us to endure?
I think it is the hope of loving,or being loved."
--
Meister Eckhart

And couple of them were on FUTURE, that i came across:

"When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people:
those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened."
--
John M. Richardson, Jr.

"Fear not for the future, weep not for the past."
--
Percy Bysshe Shelley

"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past."
--
Thomas Jefferson

"For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment."
--
Mark Twain

,,,,,,,,,,, Long Way To Go!!!!

Its almost four and a half years since i am in my current job. Thats long, i have been quiet careless, made mistakes, but i feel i have grown so much from where i started, i have come a long way and i am proud of myself i have done well. But where from here ................??????

When i joined i had said five years and i will get into something i always wanna do. Now it looks like i am giving myself 2 years more. I will have to work out something by the end of this year or else i will be way behind and that me NO LIKE.

Sometimes i am scared of what will happen if i make wrong decision ......... I know its part of life, ups and downs, all makes this walk a walk to remember, but ... oh well

Wisdom tooth ..... Ouch

I am finally getting my wisdom tooth .......... Its been bad feels like i am being slapped on my left cheek throughout the day and its ouuuuch hurts .... pain (someone who i know would have corrected me). Neeed stronger panadolsssssssssssss aaayooooooooo

Saturday Lows.........

Big Mistake ................... sleeping while listening to a beautiful melodious romantic number .... and hence my morning is messed up with unwanted thoughts of people who i dont even want to acknowledge. I have had a lousy weekend ..... which was a long weenkend for us here... I felt that i hurt someone but i never meant to i wasnt even aware that the person had feelings for me. Its funny where life gets us, people break up for the lamest reason and then there are some who cant feel anything for the other person.

But one thing is for sure i am never gonna adjust for anything less, and why should i, when i know i can do much better. :) everyone i know is very proud of me saying how i handled my recent break up. Yipppy

On a lighter note ............ I am going for the Horse race held here and i am working on making my hat .... yes i am making my own hat with feathers, net etc. i am very excited about it. I will try and put up a picture of how my hat turns out ....... yippppyeeessshhh :)

Grow It Or Not

Confused ................ Confused, I would completely agree it is for the tiniest reason but come on i am a girl it is improtant for me to think it over and over and over and over ......... for the longest time i could remember, i had quiet long hair ........ it gradually shortened up to medium ...... and then to short and now i am again at a point where should i stick to what i have or should i chop it off ....... Or probably just spice it up with a fringe ...... Confused i wish i could get a solution for it .... welll i think the best would be to just ask my lovely Ms J for advice (i hope she says yes for a fringe) heheh

The day so far as not been very eventful and that is only because i didnt want it to be ..... I just want to relax ... Because from tomm i will be helping Mrs JJ on a project which i am told will demanding and would require me to work on weekends tooo and i am really excited about it. I cant wait ........ :)

View From The Top

Just like what my title says ......... since i am in First class and an additional crew ... the prek is sitting in the cockpit for take off and landing, and the control tower of New York is BUzzzzzzzzzzzy very very buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy. Never seen so many aircrafts in the airspace waiting for permission or even taking off at such close intervals, i was amazed it was awesome and i had the headset where in i could hear what conversation the cockpit had with the control tower, its just ammmmmmmazing.

Thats all for now ............ And Mr. DK (also known as Mr. MBA guy) if u reading this, i would like to say Hi and a big Thank you for being there, you really are a great friend :)

Just Because I feel so ......

I used to think
I had the answers to everything
But now I know

That life doesn't always go my way
Yeah feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize
I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman

All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in betweenI'm not a girl, Not yet a woman

Yipppppppppppppyzzzzzzzz

I have finally decided what it is i will be doing on my leave ......... and it is something i love ..... people who know will know what i am talking about its PR ........ and it will be with people i know and to top it i will be paid for it ......... how nice, its so true when God Almighty closes one door for you he opens another :) Happy Goddess

Fly First Class :)

First Class : Flat Bed, Own Suite, Pjs, Slippers, Hand towels and Non Stop Cavier and Champange .................... I could live that life :)

I enjoyed working that class and will be doing so for the comming few days .......... its time i take my upgrade seriously and have a word with my manager. I am suprised i was gonna give up my job, I love everything about this job to name a few its the freedom, meet new people i just love it all and i was gonna give this up for something which would be less exciting and more of a routine, wonder what i was smoking (coz i dont remember either).

I am not gonna give up this job for anything............... what i would do is try and learn something which will give me a something to fall on when ever i need it ......... :)

Flight Fever ...........

Not something which is expected of me, but for me somehow a long flight gives me creeps.... How is the crew gonna be? Will they be friendly? Will they be hardworking? Would i like them? a lot of questions ................

I belive no matter where we go its the crew that makes the flight not the passengers ........... The team work is always shown, passengers can see it. But if there is one rotten seed it can be so visible. Especially, these long trip where i will be flying from here to Hamburg then after a day to JFK and then back to Hamburg and then back home, so nearly a 6 day trip.

I should be sleeping rite now but i cant sleep .............. time to calm the senses ............ Dream ........ snore (not sure if i do) ............. nite nite to me :)

Weird Random Thoughts!!!

Well there are loads of things that run thru my head............ Scared of what future holds for me ... i am excited but a lil scared i dont know what am i suppose to look out for, its like rite now i am flying aimlessly. How do i know wat is rite or wrong for me how do i read the signs??

But before all that i dont know if i have completely shut off my past and how do u do that? or how do i know i have moved on? See i told u i have loads of questions ........... Am i still hoping my past to come back to me? Is this all normal (i think it is or so i m told) I wanna learn from my past relationship but i dont know what to learn out of it.............

One thing that i came across was my life could have been far worse, a break up is nothing atleast it wasnt as bad as someone dying, imagine someone gone and will never ever watsoever come back ...... when i mentioned this to my friend she confirmed that i was still expecting my ex back in my life, but thats not true, even if he does come (knowing him it will never happen) i would never be able to trust him as i did............. i will always have the fear or the insecurity that he has done it once he can always do it again.

What i dont get is how can love change? what makes it change as far i know a mothers love never changes so y does a lovers love change is it because they dont have a blood relationship ..... but then if they have blood relations then they become brother and sister (ok i agree i dont make sense anymore)

I am going on this long trip to Hamburg from there to JFK and i am hoping by the time i get back i will be a changed person or atleast know what i want, i hate this feeling of being aimless (and not having a mission) .............. I have already decided that i will not pursue my Bach. since that was never what i wanted to do. I am gonna work my way to CIDESCO i feel that will keep me happy and isnt that what people usually say "As long as it keeps you happy"

My family has always been very supportive and they suprise me all the time, i used to date a Hindu guy and they supported me i am sure they always knew she will come back but its strange, even when i told them its over they were like we always knew but then why was i not aware of it?

They impressed me so much that i have made up my mind ....... a decision which i will stick to, i am gonna give myself 2 more yrs with this airlines and by then i should have done something that i will be in control of. The comming two years will be all abt my career and reaching the vision i see myself in, and then i think i will do as family says marry who my folks think rite (i know its not very me) but it looks like they know exactly who i should be with, i have tried it on my own havent been quiet successful. :) I think it it cant get all that bad what more worse can happen to me i think i can be a relationship Guru....... lolzzzzzz

I am suprised by how i started off and where i reached ......... i was just randomly blabbering and i actually got my answers too ....... I love bloggin i think i should do this more often. I like the fact that i can write my inner most fear and know no one is gonna ever know who it belongs to (except one person, but i dont even expect him to read it)

A Good Day !!!!!!!!

Randomly met a lady while shopping ....... was told i have a good aura............ and that i should get rid of my past .............

Why was i shopping ?? because i have been neglecting myself a lot lately and i have been told i have lost a drastic amount of weight (havent gotten myself on the scale yet) so need new clothes for the new bod :)

Good aura: well its my modestly that i usually dont brag, but i do get a lot of them and i am glad i do, because that means i am a beautiful person and i am sure people who know would not deny it :)

Getting rid of my past ....... i think i am nearly there but since she has mentioned it, its definately a sign and to top it i dont need a vain person to spoil my aura lolzzzzzzz (when the vain man reads it he will get my hint)

What is Love ...........

Came across this over the net and really made me think .......... and want to blog about it ...

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
- Franklin P. Jones

I think i have questioned myself whenever they is a conflict or stress in a realationship that i had as to "why me" all the time. Something that i never did was when i got into a relationship i hadnt asked the same question "why me". Again something that i read but cant put it the exact way is ..... "Its only a rock that cannot feel love ...... all other living being do have that feeling, hence fortunate are the one's that know the feeling of love".

I consider myself to be really lucky to belive in the magic of love, i know doesnt sound practical, may sound childish to some .......... but if u look around people who dont belive in the magic of love are the ones who though having friends around still feels like the world is a stranger. So my advice to all will be to start beliving in love only then will the world be a better place... and i will land with a better man for myself lolzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Retail Therapy

Dubai Shopping Festival got over today ........................ so need i say more. This time my focus was on dresses mostly evening wear and i love what i have picked oh and picked up a nice frame too. Infact i so love it that i will put up the pic one of these days, it will go well with a handbag that i was gifted a few months back :). Most of the stuff i picked were from Zara and i think 2 of my dresses were a steal for like for 20 to 25 $ .................. me very happy. Its definately got me on a natural high. Got back to being a buzy body that i used to be and i think i always enjoyed it, no wonder i felt something was missing.

About Black dresses what do they say "Every girl should have one black dress" but is it ok to have more ???? I am not sure and neither was my friend. Talking about shopping i even picked up a cell phone that i had been eyeing for almost 9 months now. Yipppe I just Love the way Shopping makes me feel its even better than chocolates (coz u will stress about loosing those lil extra pounds u put on). Hence i think Shopping is stress free and rejuvenating.

Calling In Sick

Just like the title says ........... Me is sick ..... awwwwuuuch. Not sure what hurts most the pain or the fact that i asked for it, so i decided to call in sick. No work for one more day i am planning to recover by doing the rite thing. Wake up the morning for a bright start .... a new fresh start. Its only me that exsist, no one else ............. I, Me and the Flying Goddess :)